I was so confused, but I remembered why I was here. I had a purpose to being her that was supposed to be pure. I knew that if I chose to go along with this pretty creature I would totally be off track. So I told her:
No thanks I quit. (I said I quit to sound cool like I used to be cool, but I had to "clean up my act")
Oh come on, its just a little weed! It ain't going to hurt you. Pleeease I don't want to party alone.
No. I better not. Besides I came her to be alone, and think about stuff. This would really put me off track.
Come on don't be such a square!
No. Sorry.
I was proud of myself I was sticking to my guns, but then something happened that made me shudder. She said:
I should have known! You looked like a nerd. Fuckin geek why did I waste my time talking to such a loser! You think you are better than me don't you you self righteous ego maniac!
She continued starting to hurl insults at me. I decided I had enough of her browbeating and got up to leave the cave, but she got in front of me:
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING! I'M NOT THROUGH WITH YOU!
LET ME OUT!!!!
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She changed. She was not the sweet beautiful gal that came in the cave. Her eyes were bulging, and then something happened that freaked me out! HER FACE CONTORTED AND HER VOICE STARTED GET DEEPER!!!!!!!!
I had no other choice with her blocking the entrance of the cave I had no choice, but to go into the cave and maybe wait her out. So I ran. Ran into the darkness, away from the evil that had confronted me. I ran with all my might until I tripped. I was falling now. Face first! into what I don't know. It felt like I was sliding down a hill. I could feel my chest burning. It was pitch black, and I had no idea what was going on, and where I would end up. I was never more frightened, alone, and confused in my life..............
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
In the Cave (part 1)
So I have been in deep meditation, deep contemplation. I finally have the quiet I was aching for, and it is great! I see the little light coming in from the opening and I also see there is more to this cave. If I wish I can explore deeper, maybe I will do that later. Luckily I did pack a flashlight.
Suddenly I hear something at the entrance of the cave! Fear and anxiety fill me, what is it is it an animal? Oh shit why in the world did I come here! The sound gets louder! It sound like footsteps! Oh shit!!!!
Suddenly I hear something at the entrance of the cave! Fear and anxiety fill me, what is it is it an animal? Oh shit why in the world did I come here! The sound gets louder! It sound like footsteps! Oh shit!!!!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
"Motives And Thoughts" Lauryn Hill (Def Poetry)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1TZO_sOsVo
Self observation is a wonderful tool. Watch yourself constantly without judgement. Watch yourself with the mind of a scientist. Understanding stops once you judge. We are being played like puppets and we don't even see it! So observe with the spirit of I want to understand. See your "Motives and Thoughts"! Don't be afraid, relax you are growing..............
Self observation is a wonderful tool. Watch yourself constantly without judgement. Watch yourself with the mind of a scientist. Understanding stops once you judge. We are being played like puppets and we don't even see it! So observe with the spirit of I want to understand. See your "Motives and Thoughts"! Don't be afraid, relax you are growing..............
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Anthony DeMelo
First of let me say I LOVE YOUTUBE! Anthony De Mello is one of my favorite authors and I have gained a lot from reading his books. I happened to come across of a video of him on YouTube! I love that someone who passed away years ago can come to life with very minimal effort on my part.
Anyway, this talk is great if you have about a half hour it is definitely worth it. One of the key points that comes out of it is it is not the events of our life that make us sad or depressed it is how we take them in. It is our perception of the disturbance that makes the difference. I love that! Of course he says it much more eloquently. This is a gem of a video.
Listen to it with an open ear. At the end there is an older gentleman gets up and asks him an obvious question. Poor man he has been so conditioned by life that he cannot even see Fr. De Mello's message staring him in the face! I pray that none of us we become so conditioned....ENJOY!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vmTSdxxnTw
Anyway, this talk is great if you have about a half hour it is definitely worth it. One of the key points that comes out of it is it is not the events of our life that make us sad or depressed it is how we take them in. It is our perception of the disturbance that makes the difference. I love that! Of course he says it much more eloquently. This is a gem of a video.
Listen to it with an open ear. At the end there is an older gentleman gets up and asks him an obvious question. Poor man he has been so conditioned by life that he cannot even see Fr. De Mello's message staring him in the face! I pray that none of us we become so conditioned....ENJOY!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vmTSdxxnTw
Monday, May 11, 2009
Listening Excercise
People have asked me many times what is mediation. I have given many long drawn out answers. I regret them now if they ask me I will just say "Listening".
"Well what do you mean Jijo?"
To me mediation is listening to the outer and inner worlds that we are in all the time.
Listen to the outer world, at the risk of sound crazy I will give you an exercise. Wake up early in the morning, before sun rises and sit by the window. Listen to the outside noises. The crickets, the first bird to sing in the morning, the cars driving by, the silence. There is a peace and a quieting of the mind that occurs.
Listen to the inner world. This is often harder to do, but reaps unending rewards. Just listen what is bothering you. The human mind is amazing! It will go to where it needs to go. Initially it is hard because you will have thousands of thoughts spinning like a CD in your head. Give it time HAVE FAITH, your mind will quiet and go where it needs to go. Think about your issues big and small trust me it will bring you peace. "We can look at a storm in the day or in the night the damage is the same." Vernon Howard said that. I take it a step further. A storm at night can do more damage because you cannot see anything. If you look at your problems straight on then you can deal with them better.
So try it. See if it works for you.......
"Well what do you mean Jijo?"
To me mediation is listening to the outer and inner worlds that we are in all the time.
Listen to the outer world, at the risk of sound crazy I will give you an exercise. Wake up early in the morning, before sun rises and sit by the window. Listen to the outside noises. The crickets, the first bird to sing in the morning, the cars driving by, the silence. There is a peace and a quieting of the mind that occurs.
Listen to the inner world. This is often harder to do, but reaps unending rewards. Just listen what is bothering you. The human mind is amazing! It will go to where it needs to go. Initially it is hard because you will have thousands of thoughts spinning like a CD in your head. Give it time HAVE FAITH, your mind will quiet and go where it needs to go. Think about your issues big and small trust me it will bring you peace. "We can look at a storm in the day or in the night the damage is the same." Vernon Howard said that. I take it a step further. A storm at night can do more damage because you cannot see anything. If you look at your problems straight on then you can deal with them better.
So try it. See if it works for you.......
Sunday, May 10, 2009
The Persistant Hunt
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wI-9RJi0Qo&feature=related
Watch this video. It is truly amazing and beautiful. The Sand People hunt in an ancient way. The way man must have hunted before weapons. This way of hunting is truly magnificent as the hunter and prey are truly one. The hunter is one with the earth and feels the pain and emotions of its prey.
Being a practicing vegetarian I felt terribly sad about the loss of life of the animal, but I understand that this is the nature of things in this world. His tribe must not have access to a supermarket to buy alternative sources of protein so the meat is true nourishment to him and his family.
And boy did he earn it. I tell myself the day I can kill an animal myself with my own hands is the day I will eat meat again. Boy, do I dare say the day I can hunt like this amazingly powerful man is the day I will eat meat again?!?!?!
Watch this video. It is truly amazing and beautiful. The Sand People hunt in an ancient way. The way man must have hunted before weapons. This way of hunting is truly magnificent as the hunter and prey are truly one. The hunter is one with the earth and feels the pain and emotions of its prey.
Being a practicing vegetarian I felt terribly sad about the loss of life of the animal, but I understand that this is the nature of things in this world. His tribe must not have access to a supermarket to buy alternative sources of protein so the meat is true nourishment to him and his family.
And boy did he earn it. I tell myself the day I can kill an animal myself with my own hands is the day I will eat meat again. Boy, do I dare say the day I can hunt like this amazingly powerful man is the day I will eat meat again?!?!?!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Listening
Listening is a true art form. I am learning how important and beautiful it is to have the skill of listening.
Let me explain, most of us listen with "filters" on high alert. These filters are our experiences negative and positive. They are our prejudices, our biases, our beliefs, our values. The reason I say it is an art and a skill is that we must listen with those "filters" off. It is not easy to do. You always want to chime in with your own opinion. What is wrong with just shutting up and truly listening to what the other person has to say?
Furthermore, we must listen wholehearted with our mind/body/soul. Watch the person's expressions. FEEL the passion in what they are saying. I mentioned Hara in the previous blog, it is your vital center. Listen with your Hara which is your INNER being. Let the persons words vibrate in you and absorb what they are saying.
It sounds like a simple thing (especially if you disagree with his/her point of view), but try it! It is not as easy as it sounds!
Let me explain, most of us listen with "filters" on high alert. These filters are our experiences negative and positive. They are our prejudices, our biases, our beliefs, our values. The reason I say it is an art and a skill is that we must listen with those "filters" off. It is not easy to do. You always want to chime in with your own opinion. What is wrong with just shutting up and truly listening to what the other person has to say?
Furthermore, we must listen wholehearted with our mind/body/soul. Watch the person's expressions. FEEL the passion in what they are saying. I mentioned Hara in the previous blog, it is your vital center. Listen with your Hara which is your INNER being. Let the persons words vibrate in you and absorb what they are saying.
It sounds like a simple thing (especially if you disagree with his/her point of view), but try it! It is not as easy as it sounds!
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